All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
