what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize