Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
