around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
