I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
