So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
