Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Michael Bay diarrhea
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
