whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
