Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Randomize
