dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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