You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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