How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Someone came in the potted fern
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
