That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
its liver damage thursday
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