Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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