This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
