went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
