she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
there is puke in my bra ... again
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