Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
