Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
A+ Viking dick
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
