Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
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