If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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