I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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