I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
