**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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