OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
