sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
