These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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