I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize