a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
