Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I feel like a drive thru vagina
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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