i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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