he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Randomize
