I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
