Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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