I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
