Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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