So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
