I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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