I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
