How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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