I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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