Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
