Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
