party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize