Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
