Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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