from now on my penis is your penis
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
