he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
