Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
