The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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