Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
