found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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