Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
