I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
