Dude my mom stole all your condoms
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
