her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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