I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
