i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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