I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
