So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize