So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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