I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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