We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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