But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
