I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
