the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
