Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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