we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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