Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
