do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
