Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
whose ass print is on the piano?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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